12 Jul 2014

Who is asking for my hand

Categories : Marriage |   0 Comments

The companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) of Allah were the best students. Their eagerness to follow the teachings of the Prophet (peace be upon him) cannot be compared to any others. Their conduct and earnestness were praised by Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him).

The Messenger (peace be upon him) even interfered in their personal affairs when become essential. He arranged many successful marriages. One among those is of Julaybib’s, a not so famous companion of the Messenger (peace be upon him). He was a very short, not handsome ansar man, even his lineage was not known. Even though he was shunned by the people, lonely, no one to love him, the Prophet (peace be upon him) loved him. And this is his story .

Abu Barzah Al-Aslami said:

“Julaybib was a man who used to enter upon women and joke with them. I said to my wife, ‘Do not let Julaybib enter upon you, for if he enters upon you I shall do such and such.’

If any of the Ansar had a single female relative, they would not arrange a marriage for her until they found out whether the Prophet wanted to marry her or not.

The Prophet said to one of the Ansar: (Give me your daughter for marriage).

He said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah, it would be an honor and a blessing.’

He said, (I do not want her for myself).

He said, ‘Then for whom, O Messenger of Allah?’

He said, (For Julaybib).

He said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, let me consult her mother.’

So he went to the girl’s mother and said, ‘The Messenger of Allah is proposing marriage for your daughter.’

She said, ‘Yes, it would be a pleasure.’

He said, ‘He is not proposing to marry her himself, he is proposing on behalf of Julaybib.’

She said, ‘What! Julaybib No, by Allah, we will not marry her to him.’

When he wanted to get up and go to the Messenger of Allah to tell him what the girl’s mother had said, the girl asked,

‘Who is asking for my hand!’ So her mother told her, and she said,

‘Are you refusing to follow the command of the Messenger of Allah? Follow his command, for I will not come to any harm.’

So her father went to the Messenger of Allah and said, ‘Deal with her as you wish.’

So he married her to Julaybib.

Then the Messenger of Allah went out on one of his military campaigns, and after Allah had granted him victory, he said to his Companions,

may Allah be pleased with them, (See whether there is anybody missing)

They said, ‘We have lost so-and-so, and so-and-so.’

He said, (See if there is anybody missing).

They said, ‘No one.’

He said: (But I see that Julaybib is missing). He said: (Go and look for him among the dead).

So they looked for him, and found him beside seven of the enemy whom he had killed before he was himself killed.

They said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, here he is, beside seven of the enemy whom he had killed before he was himself killed.’

The Messenger of Allah came and stood beside him and said, He killed seven before he was himself killed. He belongs to me and I belong to him.

He said this two or three times, then the Messenger of Allah carried him in his arms and held him while his grave was dug, then he placed him in his grave. It was not mentioned that he washed him, may Allah be pleased with him.

Thabit, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “There was no widow among the Ansar who was more sought after for marriage than that girl.

Ishaq bin Abdullah bin Abi Talhah asked Thabit, “Do you know how the Messenger of Allah prayed for that girl?

He told him: “He said, O Allah, pour blessings upon her and do not make her life hard.”

And this is how it was; there was no widow among the Ansar who was more sought after for marriage than her.”

[Musnad Ahmad (4/422) No. 19799]

From the life of this Sahaba, we learn that the physical appearance may cause rejection of marriage proposals, but their Taqwa will not be ignored at the end.
Julaybib’s marriage was a successful one, not because he was handsome, but both of them had fear of Allah and were ready to obey what Allah and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said.

“Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: for Allah encompasses all, and he knows all things.” [Quran 24:32]